20 Plus Contests Later: What Losing Taught Me That Winning Never Could
Minimum one contest every six months in Toastmasters. For seven years. That’s too many contests. Not just in my club, but across multiple stages, audiences, and cities. I’ve won some. I’ve lost many.
But if I’m being honest, my wins haven’t shaped me nearly as much as my defeats have. Because every time I didn’t make it to the next level, I had the same thought:
“This was my best speech. I don’t think I can write anything better than this.”
And yet, I always returned, back to my notes, stories and the blank page. And somehow, I’d find myself standing in front of an audience again, sharing another piece of myself.
Because deep down, I knew:
It was never just about winning. It was about the drive.
What Failure Teaches That Success Doesn’t
Early success feels beautiful, validating and encouraging. But it doesn’t always teach you what failure does. Failure forces you to sit with discomfort, to watch something you built with care fall apart, to return to square one after thinking you had it figured out. And it takes something to gather the pieces and begin again. That’s where resilience is forged.
That’s where you truly learn what it means to rise.
The Question That Changed Everything: Why Stay?
Recently, while sitting at a café in Vadodara, a few of us reflected on our Toastmasters journeys. Many of them are already thriving in their careers. They don’t need this platform in the conventional sense. And yet, they stay.
Why?
The answers were different but rooted in something deeply similar:
Drive – For some, it’s the community, for others, it’s the stage, for people like me, it’s the stories.
Why I Still Show Up
People often ask me:
“Why Toastmasters? Don’t you already have enough going on?”
And my answer is simple.
This space gives me room to think, to refine, to make sense of my experiences. What happens on stage doesn’t stay there. It flows into my classroom, conversations, into how I understand people and myself.
This is my drive – To tell stories, to process life as an educator, a mother, and a person still discovering herself—layer by layer.
Growth Beyond the Stage
This journey has also given me something I didn’t expect: experiences. When I had to travel to Vadodara by train, I said yes instantly. It wasn’t my usual way of traveling. It felt unfamiliar—but exciting. And it wasn’t just about the destination but about the people – conversations with strangers, connections that formed instantly, or didn’t, moments that stayed—or will quietly fade away. Every interaction added a layer of perspective. Because growth isn’t just about finding your voice.
It’s about –
Learning to listen.
To understand.
To coexist with people who are different from you.
And somewhere along the way—you evolve.
A Question for You
Whatever journey you’re on—Toastmasters or otherwise, pause and ask yourself:
What drives you?
Because that’s what will bring you back, even after the losses, the doubts, even when you feel like you’ve already given your best.